Ok, let’s be honest here. I think I fall a little bit into all of the categories depending on the mood of the day. I find this particular post to be quite fitting today since I spilled coffee all over my white shirt, because it was in my purse for easy carrying on the train (seriously?!), because I absolutely needed to read the free daily paper while commuting. Who am I?! And no, under no circumstances am I willing to compromise my reading, juggling with 8 bags, coffee toting ways.
Oh and by the way, I am currently on my last bag of fabulous Northwest coffee…hint hint hint…wink wink wink…
Fortune cookies are often so profound. Or, maybe I just seem to get just the right fortune at just the right moment.
Recently, my fortune said :
The most important relationship in your life is the one with yourself.
I do believe this. Truly. Obviously, this is not to discount other relationships in my life, but I do believe that if I am not happy with me, not loving me, not understanding me, not taking care of me, then how can I possibly expect others to? At the end of the day, I have to live with me forever and forever can be quite long if I haven’t taken the time to get to know myself and be comfortable with my own thoughts. Of course, I do feel like most people in my life love me unconditionally through the good and bad, which I feel so thankful for, and it is that love and support, that helps me to believe in myself and strive to better understand myself. This way, I am able to offer my best self to the people in my life and to myself.
We are all doing our best in this life. Trying our hardest to forge a path that we are ultimately comfortable and happy with. The people that we meet and the experiences we have along the way, help us to arrive even closer to the person that we are meant to be and I believe that it is those same people and experiences that help us to get to know ourselves even more.
I am not always happy with myself, but I love myself and know that I am doing my best to be the best kind of me possible. And maybe, that is all I can ask for in myself.
But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous. ~ Carrie bradshaw
As I sit here in my humble abode on Frost Street in the little nook and gaze out the window (yes, I can type and look out the window at the same time – neat, huh?!) on Saturday night, I wonder what it’s all about.
Am I doing it right? Am I semi heading in the right direction? Making the right friends, the right choices? Living in this life to the best of my ability? What does ‘right’ even mean? And today, I am not sure I know the answer to those questions. Most days, I do, I really feel like I do. But today, I am just not so sure. Now, I just want to take a moment to reassure those readers out there that I do have, I am ok. I really am, but I am just feeling very reflective lately.
Maybe it is because I am staring down 30 in 6 months. Maybe it is because I am trying to take the next steps for my next life chapter. Maybe it is because tomorrow is Father’s Day, Tuesday is my sister’s birthday (and the 6 month marker to my own birthday), the following week is one of my greatest friend’s birthday and I am just feeling like I am missing out on these moments and a million others by being 3000 miles away. Maybe because for some reason I feel the sense of profound loss for what could have been.
It is no secret that this year has been one of the most challenging of my life. Even more so then making the cross-country move to be perfectly honest. I have tried my hardest to face the challenges with the biggest smile I could muster or the biggest laugh I could squeeze out, but some days, some days, time just kind of stops and I can’t muster that smile or that laugh. And I just don’t know the answers to life’s biggest questions. I would like to think that I have fortitude to face life’s tougher moments. I would also like to think that I have grace to face those same moments. Again, some days are just a bit harder to find that fortitude and grace within myself.
It is during these days that I seek solace in the little things and from people in my life, whether they know it or not. A text from an old friend. A smile from a stranger. A song on the radio. Baking cupcakes that are literally exploding from the wrappers – whoops! A book. Or 3. A horrible YouTube video. It is things like this that help to heal my heart a bit and helps me to remember that I am strong goddamn it and I will make it through this and a million other things in my life before the end. What doesn’t kill me, will make me stronger. I will absolutely live to fight another day. And that day, is tomorrow.
(And, I know I have done this before, but it is fitting, I am re-reading Gone with the Wind and damn it, it is my blog!)
After all… tomorrow is another day. ~ Scarlett O’Hara
Well it’s Friday. Thank goodness! Looking forward to a weekend of getting things done, seeing some friends, and just taking it easy.
What’s with the title, yo?
Well…I am feeling like I want some flowers today. And I like alliterations, so why not make today Flowers Friday?!
So, send me some flowers, or just give someone you love some flowers or hey, just look at some gorgeous flowers today. They always help to brighten my day so maybe they will bring you a little extra cheer on this fine flowers Friday!
xoxo and have a great weekend,
Earth laughs in flowers. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Funny enough, that title originally said ‘Hell Monday’ because I forgot the ‘o’, which I feel could also be an appropriate title…
Mondays are a bit tougher in my opinion then the rest of the week…I think that part of me just still wants to be lazy on my couch watching the Proposal on Sunday night. This Monday morning was really no different, but I did wake up with remembering that I am trying to be more positive about life, so I leapt from bed (ok, it was really more of a roll out of bed) and greeted the day with a smile, cranked some country music (oh yeah, I did that!) and got ready to take on the day.
So, HAPPY Monday! Enjoy the day – the sun is shining (at least here in Boston), drink a great cup of coffee, have a little sweet treat, rock out to Madonna, whatever you need to do to have a great day. I mean, it is kind of all about the little things in life, or so I am told.
People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be. ~ Abraham Lincoln
Hmm, that title sounds…umm interesting. Anyway moving on.
So, my little guilty pleasure right now to ring in the weekend : Miley Cyrus Pandora Station with the added bonus of Prince, Janet Jackson and Tupac. That is a normal combination I feel!
What are your dirty little secret stations?
There are so many forms of good-bye and each of those forms have different meanings and stand for different things. At least for me.
I have said some good-byes in my life. Some permanent, some more like see ya laters, some heartbreaking, some weight lifting, and some certainly harder than others. There have been countless tears, hugs, smiles, pats on the back, and reassurances to keep in touch. Admittedly, I am not that great at saying good-bye to be honest. Not like most people are, but I just tend to not have the greatest finesse with them – usually I am crying or on the verge, I can never say the things that I need to convey because how can you tell someone everything that is in your heart in just one moment, in just a few words? Often times, when I am saying good-bye, the immensity of how I feel about that person is just too much to put into one moment or just a few words so I come across like a bumbling fool!
I feel like I have been saying good-bye a lot recently. I had a friend just recently graduate from Harvard Law and move back to Washington. And this person was my first friend in Massachusetts. She was a friend of a friend and we instantly bonded over Northwest beers and our love of football and all things Washington (well…to be honest, we do have a bit of a Cougar Husky rivalry going on ;)). She is incredibly strong, generous, open-minded and open-hearted, oh so much fun, and someone that I will always cherish having a conversation with – about whatever, life, boys, friends, the world, dreams, hopes – just whatever. I value her as a person and respect her thoughts, opinions and advice. It was hard to say good-bye and know that she won’t be around in Cambridge anymore. She is on to the next chapter of her life and of course, I am thrilled and couldn’t be happier for her, but the tiniest part of me, wishes my first Boston friend was still going to be around. BUT, we have a date for the Waterwheel Lounge the next time I come rolling into town and you better believe I am holding her to that!
My next good-bye is coming tomorrow. This one is going to be tough because I have had the opportunity to have some last minute major moments with this person over the last couple of weeks because she has been staying with us at Frostacres. Not to say that saying good-bye would have been any easier had she not been staying, but there is something about having hilarious moments, deep conversations, stalking moments, wine, bubbles at 5:15 am, and watching Saved by the Bell or Southern Nights over doing dishes and making coffee for the next day. She is truly amazing, one of the best people I have ever had the privilege of knowing. There isn’t much to say beyond that. I spent my first Thanksgiving away from family with my new little stand in family – she and her husband so graciously included me in their plans when I had never even met them! As time has gone by, I have had the wonderful opportunity to get to know her further and bond over our shared love of reading, education and trying to make awkward situations less awkward. Her infectious smile and positivity will be missed so much and so will her huge heart and the way that she has of making everything seem so much better with just a few words. It’s hard to believe that she won’t be here for Sunday brunches or Hatch Shell concerts. I can’t wait for the next chapter to begin, but again, the tiniest part of me wants to be selfish and keep her and her husband here!
These good-byes I hope are more like see ya laters. You know, the type of see ya laters where I will see them both on the West Coast and they will be coming back for Sangria parties and Northwest Beer Fests. Thank goodness for texting, skyping, gchatting, the good old phone, even USPS because these girls can’t get rid of me that easy! Thank you to you both for touching my life. You will never truly know how much I cherish the time we have been able to spend. Thank you for bring some sanity to my crazy life and thank you for being grounding forces even when you maybe didn’t even realize you were!
xoxo and all my love,
Not totally sure where to even begin.
Let’s talk first about how amazing my friend Joe is though and how he was a major rockstar and took me to the airport at 4:30 in the am on Saturday so I could make my flight. Thanks Joe, you are kind of the best ever! That being said, I was up at 3:30 am for said flight getting all the last minute items together so I could be off and running. I arrived at the airport and went through check-in and security with no issue (not that I thought that there really would be at 5:00 am) and then proceeded onto my gate. Along the way, I noticed some giant line of people (longer than security actually) and realized that they were waiting for Dunks. Dunks was roped off and apparently feeling like they didn’t need to actually open. It was crazy – I mean, come on Dunks, let the masses have their medium regulahs please!
Because truly, a laundry list of fun is about all I can handle right now, here goes, in no particular order : (oh yes, thank you to all of you who made suggestions!)
- Started and finished Fifty Shades of Grey – eh. Disappointed. But, some guy next to me on the plane made a point to talk to me about it…’so umm, what do you think of that book…’ ‘well sir, I would prefer not to get into this conversation with you going on 2 hours of sleep first thing in the morning to be perfectly honest…’
- Worked on the tan. By the pool. All three mornings.
- Made the bad decision to drink Four Loko. WORST decision.
- Played beer pong. With Rich, Eddie, Chris, and Greg from Jersey and Long Beach.
- Drank a lot of 3 for 1’s.
- Jello shots. Yep. That happened. Several times.
- Met an up and coming rapper. By rapper, I mean he lays down the beats – according to his friend that is.
- Tube shots. Yep. Those happened too.
- Beignets and coffee. Cafe Du Monde.
- Shrimp Po’Boy that really was more just like a pickle, tomato and mayo sandwich since I deconstructed it. Sad not so sober moment. BUT, it was good.
- Live music.
- Dance, dance, dance, dance.
- Steamboat River Cruise and dinner.
- Gold glitter heels. Gotta find a way to make those more comfortable.
- History lesson from my cab driver.
- Beers by the pool at 10:30 in the morning.
- Stumbled through Bourbon St.
- Had beads thrown at me.
- Had daiquiris on the street.
- Had beers on the street.
- Heard ‘When the Saints Go Marching In’, loved, loved it and totally teared up for some reason.
- Saw a lot of LSU gear which of course made me excited and yearn (that’s right, I said it!) for college football.
And, I feel like that’s a wrap! Yowza. That is a lot of stuff. All in all, I had a great time, I really did feel like I experienced most of everything that I needed to. Ate some amazing food, danced my ass off, drank a little bit, enjoyed the company I was with, and just loved getting out of town – especially since Beantown was raining all weekend.
Now, it is time for my 30th birthday plans to commence! Oh heeeey Puerto Rico! 😉