Ugh. This is the story of my life right now. I just feel like there are so many things that have happened that I have yet to address in this space and I need to address them for my own sanity! And frankly, for my own reading pleasure later in life.
I am going to tackle this small little thing.
In a couple of weeks, I will be back in school! I am just so excited. Truly cannot wait to be a student again. Those of you that know me, know that I adore education. So much so that I feel like my calling in life is in education. Now, that role has changed and evolved over the last several years, but I remember so clearly this moment senior year of college, halfway through second semester, where I freaked out and realized I wasn’t doing the right thing and that I should have gone into education – teaching more specifically. At this point, I was burnt out from school and all I could think about was upcoming graduation where I would be getting my BA in Communication – Advertising, I didn’t even give myself the opportunity to think about staying longer and just making a complete shift because I knew that I needed to just be done for awhile with school.
I absolutely do not regret this decision. This decision, among others, has led me to this moment in life so what is there to regret? While it has certainly been a long road to make a complete career shift, it has been worth it every step of the way. I can’t imagine if I would have done things differently. I wouldn’t have made and met some great connections in the banking world, I wouldn’t have gotten involved with the Business and Finance program in the local high schools, I wouldn’t have been reacquainted with my old business teacher who told me about Career and Tech Education pathways in Washington, I wouldn’t have gotten my first job when I moved to Boston, hell, I probably wouldn’t even be in Boston, and I wouldn’t find myself at Northeastern University. And a million other small steps in this wonderful thing we call life wouldn’t have happened to bring me to this point.
In two weeks, I begin my Masters of Education in Learning and Instruction Concentration. I can’t wait to see where this takes me. I love the idea of teaching, but I know myself and in 5 or so years, I would be looking to the next things in Education so I am planning ahead. Development here I come, but who knows, I might moonlight as a teacher for awhile too!
I think the hardest thing that I have had to work through the last several years, is trusting myself and believing in myself that I was on the right path for my life. Believing that one day, of course, never soon enough, I would make it here. Having faith in the process, no matter hard and arduous it really was. And believe me, it was. And trusting those in my life that have stuck by me and supported me through this journey because they too, believed that this was the right life path for me.
And to sum this all up, the final paragraph in my personal statement :
There have been countless moments that have led me to this place of feeling that my ultimate goal is to have an impact on various curriculum and instruction elements. Ultimately, I want my voice to be heard and I want to help improve the education system from the fundamental level of what students are learning during their time in the classroom. My goal in life is to make a difference and make an impact, and I truly believe that this program will push me in the right direction of influencing the education system. I want the chance to impact a student’s life and to offer them a positive experience, like the one that I was offered.
xoxo and go education!
So this week has seriously felt like it was the equivalent of at least two for me. I hate that!
All that to say, I am so excited it is Friday. I feel like I just don’t want to do anything for the next few days. Alas, that isn’t going to happen. I don’t know how this actually happened, but I have a ton of stuff lined up the next several days/weeks. All fun, don’t get me wrong, but part of me just literally wants to sit down. Watch a little Ally McBeal (I know!) and just be. Hopefully soon, but first, I gotta get my Dirty Dancing on at the Wharf for Free Outdoor Flick Fridays, hit up a Housewarming Party, and get my groove on at a farm for a little outdoor music fun!
Happy Friday favorites, live it up and remember, nobody puts Baby in the corner!
I am totally thinking Best Case Scenario!
And this time of the year, more than any other, is the time I wish I was back on the West Coast. College Football. Best time of the year. BEST time of the year. Not much will ever compare to a crisp Fall day with the sun shining and a little bite to the air, waiting to get into Martin Stadium for Cougar Football.
I could go on and on about my love for the game and what it means to me and all of my little memories in college and after college about WSU and college football as a whole, but I won’t. I will just say this, wishing I could be making the trek to Pullman this year to welcome Mike Leach and sing the fight song with all the Cougar faithful!
xoxo and GO COUGS!
Well, Real Simple has done it again. Picked just the right words for me to receive at 8 am in my inbox.
I believe this and try my absolute best to live by this sentiment. There are days that are harder than others to remember to love myself – unconditionally. I think that at the end of the day, if I find a little tiny something to be proud of myself about, love myself about, something that brings even the smallest smile to my face and laughter to my heart, then I consider it a small victory. It can be so easy to beat myself up for things not said, things that are said, choices made, etc., but I am doing the best that I can to be easy and forgiving of myself. On my journey to 30, among a hundred other small things, I am working on getting back to loving myself more and not beating myself up so much. I have said it a million times, no regrets in this life because frankly, at whatever moment, I wanted whatever was going on for whatever reason. Can’t be mad at myself at that.
And frankly, if I want flowers, some wine and chocolate, who better than myself sometimes to get them! I can bring a little romance to my life with or without a sexy counterpart! I mean, not like I would turn them down from that tall, dark and handsome nerdy reader out there either…just sayin’, if you know of any I will send you my address.
Oh yeah, I just hit 100! Finally.
Some days my heart just feels like exploding I am so overcome by the wonderful things in my world.
I know that there are several posts on here that would perhaps suggest otherwise, especially these days, but those of you who know me, know me, know and understand how the little things in my life sometimes bring me to tears with gratefulness, know that my moments of bad are really just tiny moments in comparison to the moments of amazing in my mind.
I do believe that most people in this life do want to be loved, thought of from time to time, respected, cherished and a million other feel good feelings. And, I am not sure it matters who does the loving or respecting – an old friend, a family member, or a stranger. I am not ashamed to admit that is what I want and hope for in this life. In the moments that I am not able to feel those feelings for myself, it helps knowing that I have some amazing people to fill the void in my heart from time to time.
It doesn’t take much for me to become swept away in a good moment, almost embarrassingly so. I have noticed it more and more over the last several years, but so much so since I have moved away from everything familiar. There are a thousand little moments that have shaped my life here and made things just a little bit easier. Offers of airport rides at 3:30 in the morning by two people that I have just met, my roommate always saving me the red straw when we have cocktails at home, several offers over the last couple of Thanksgivings to join a new family for the day, playing Roxanne for me on the Jukebox when I don’t ask for it, texts from afar from old friends and family, always being included, even the likes and comments on my blog either on the site or on a more personal one on one level – these are just some of the moments that I will never forget.
Lately, I feel like I have been starved for some nice in life. Some good people. Some nice people. There are have been several recent instances that have made me question so much of my own life, my own self, and just people. And then I remembered everything above. Maybe instead of needing more nice, I should focus on the nice and amazing and special I already have and then perhaps, more nice will follow. Perhaps I should focus on being a good person myself and revisit the things that I feel are important and not compromise those things again.
While this time in my life may not be easiest, I am making the choice not to fixate on the bad, but to cherish and revel on the amazing. I don’t want to look back on this last year as something so crippling that I couldn’t breathe sometimes, I want to look back at this last year of my 20’s as something that was a challenge, but I overcame that challenge, became a better person, more gracious, and thankful for having lived through it all. And this living, that I am doing, well, it is made a little bit brighter with some amazing people, some amazing memories, and a whole lot of moments.
So to those of you that read this journal of sorts, thank you. New and old. You have helped me and continue to help me heal my heart and soul.