This just really spoke to me today and I felt compelled to share and reblog this so I can look back when I need a reminder, to just take a moment.
Have a great weekend! This weekend for me will be a nice healthy combination of studying, dodging the rain, studying, studying and more rain dodging.
So, remember how I mentioned I spilled cayenne pepper in my bag? No, oh, hmm that might be because I forgot to mention that to you all. First of all, who carries a container of cayenne pepper around in their bag? Secondly, this is seriously the kind of shenanigans that I deal with every single day with myself, so this is really not that big of a deal. Until today. And now, for a little glimpse into the fun that is my life..
But seriously? Cayenne pepper in my tote bag? Why, oh why self did you think this was a good idea? I know you like spicy food, so you probably thought it would be great to have this around so you can spice things up from time to time, but why didn’t you take it out before it got to this point? Oy.
Anyway, I discovered a couple of weeks ago that somehow the container opened at the bottom of my tote bag and like half of spilled out, also at the bottom of my bag. Great, I thought, I mean it was Friday and I was rushing to have a drink, or let’s be honest, 4, and I didn’t have time to deal with this mess. So I left it. Bad plan. BAD.PLAN. I did revisit the situation the next day, but apparently I missed cleaning a bunch. Which I found. Today. Just now.
Ok, fine. I
can can’t roll with the punches, but fine. So, I did what anyone would do. I took out the contents of the bag, made a mess on my work floor with all my crap, took the garbage can and turned the bag inside out and dumped it in there. Seems like a good plan until I am shaking it and the pepper gets everywhere. Literally everywhere. I am choking and sneezing and my eyes are burning. Cool.
At least I am cayenne pepper free now. No worries that my skin is burning. And it smells in here. The price I apparently pay for a little extra kick to my food.
Did I mention that I also thought it was Thursday today when I woke up? Oh.
Please tell me other people have these moments too!
So I think that most people in this world have that one person (or maybe even more than just one) that just knows them better than everyone else. Someone that you are able to just really connect with, tell pretty much anything and everything to, laugh with, cry with, drink wine with, not talk with, make 3 hours Target runs with, just really anything. Well, I am no exception. I have mentioned her here before, my Bobsey twin.
This girl knows me so well that she can tell I am down even through text or gchat – there’s no faking it with her! 😉 She was my first visitor when I first moved to Boston and came here about a month and a half after I moved so we could keep up with on my most favorite traditions of ours, watching the Apple Cup together! How special is that folks!? She is one of my biggest supporters, a HUGE part of my support system, my go to gal for a million different things, one of the first people I go to to share good news, to cry about bad news, and especially to laugh with about funny stuff. Outside of my family, she is who I miss the most from home. She came to visit me this summer and it was so fabulous to have her around. It was like no time had passed and we were back to our old Bobsey twin antics – I mean you can’t have a trip planning meeting with just anyone (and I say that because not everyone is as crazy and type A planners like we are!) basically the second that they get off the plane, and you certainly can’t just rip multiple shots with just anyone at 1 or so in the afternoon at a college bar, or count on just anyone to flirt with the Sam Adams boys so you can get on the earlier brewery tour, or have marathon chat sessions about nothing and everything at the same time, or flex your Co-Prez of the B Club muscles, or be reassured once again that you can count on being totally in sync with someone about the majority of things because you know them so well or they you know you so well. I am a lucky little ducking to say the least kiddos!
Well, today is the last first day of nursing school for my bestest Bobsey twin and I couldn’t be more proud. She has found her place in the world with grace, dignity and a crazy amount of strength, courage and of course, a lot of heart. I can’t imagine her in any other job and let me tell you, she is going to be one amazing nurse. She brings such a sense of calm to me and so many other people in her life as well I am sure, that I can’t really imagine her not bringing that same feeling to those that she will interact with during her nursing career. She is one of the most generous and selfless people that you will ever come across. And you know how when someone finds their passion in life and their dreams are realized, they wear it well and it just radiates? Yep. That’s her.
So…congratulations to you Bobs! I can’t believe that you are in the homestretch now! One more year left of school and then the real fun and amazing will start! I am so unbelievably proud of you and can’t imagine you doing anything else in this life. You have found ‘it’ and it is so amazing. I know that this year will be challenging, but the end goal is so much in sight at this point. You totally got this and I will be cheering for you all along the way, just like always! Thank you for being you and for our amazing friendship and what it brings to my life!
Raising a glass to you today in a huge way!
Lots of love and excitement to you and many, many cheers.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
I have seen so many posts in various forms regarding the arrival of Fall, so many so, that I have been inspired to pen my own love letter to Fall. So here goes.
My Dearest Fall,
First off, should I call you Fall, should I call you Autumn? I am just never too sure. Folks around here typically refer to you as Autumn, so perhaps I should follow suit. From here on out, at least for the purposes of this letter, I shall call you Autumn.
Autumn, how I love you so. I love the fact that you bring me football season. The fact that I could sit and watch countless of hours on the weekends of my favorite sport to watch is truly wonderful, specifically on Saturdays. Cougar Football Saturdays will always be some of my fondest memories and some of my most favorite times. In my opinion, there is just nothing quite like Pullman in the fall, on a Saturday, in Martin Stadium. It’s electrifying. It is special and being a Coug in the fall is one of THE best times to be a Coug. Regardless of how the team is doing. Seriously.
That chill in the air? That sunshine and breeze combo? Yeah, I love that. The air feels differently and even smells differently, Autumn and it is absolutely wonderful. I love the feeling of waking up in the morning with just a little bite in the air, but the sun still streaming in through the window.
Hot beverages. Autumn, your arrival means that I slowly start wanting a hot beverage to hold in the morning. I suppose I have to say this : the return of Pumpkin Spice Lattes. Now, frankly, I am not a fan of them myself, but I know the rest of the world is, so PSL, your arrival is a happy time for many and you really don’t show up until Autumn is upon us, so I will be excited for your return too. I love the fact that the chill in the air means that it is time for jackets, sweaters, scarves, and my beloved knee high socks. For those of you that know me, you will know that these socks are THE best socks ever and actually the only ones I will wear when the weather turns. I mean, come on, look at all the choices and the fun patterns! I have a ridiculous amount and not enough all at the same time.
I love, Autumn, that you bring first days of school. There is something so magical about them. A new start. New pens and pencils. New school supplies in general. Pulling out the old backpack and getting ready to load it up with books. And this year, for the first time in a long time, I had a first day of school! I reveled in the preparation of it. Received a back to school care package from the mom and LOVED it! So fun.
I can’t wait for pumpkins, squash, soup, baked apples, hot apple cider, pumpkin bread, pumpkin cupcakes, pumpkin cake, pumpkin, pumpkin, pumpkin. Cozying up on the couch all wrapped up in a blanket watching a movie, trashy tv show, or reading a book sounds like an amazing Sunday. Chimney smoke and the smell of wood burning makes me yearn for a fireplace.
The leaves. Autumn, oh Autumn I love the changing of the leaves. The reds, yellows, and oranges. I can’t get enough of them. It is my favorite moment of all, Autumn, in all honesty, seeing the leaves start to change. There is something so beautiful and magic about it. There is a romance to you Autumn that I can’t explain that is so unlike other seasons. Strolling in the chilly night with someone you have a crush on, sounds amazing and something to consider coming out of the dating hiatus for indeed. Even strolling by myself, sounds fabulous, who needs a hot guy to do that all the time?
I am glad you are here. I welcome you back into my life with open arms and an even bigger place in my heart for you than ever before. You see, Autumn, this Autumn in 2012, you will mark my second anniversary in Boston (kind of crazy to think that I have been in New England for 2 years!). You also mark the first day of school in the journey in the pursuit of my dream. You also mark the last few months of my 20’s and I plan to make the most of them. To be open to new experiences, to welcome them into my life. To welcome new people into my life. And most of all, welcome myself back into my life. Forgiving myself and healing myself – feels like two things that I can do with your healing and magical powers Autumn. Thank you. For being exactly you.
P.S. I love the fact I can rock Lincoln Park After Dark on my fingernails finally! Thanks Autumn for your appreciation of dark colors. 🙂
It’s that time. The 3 month update on my list of things to do before 30. OH! Right. I didn’t actually really make one. Oh. Ok. Good job, me! So, I didn’t exactly create a list as promised to you or myself, but I have been thinking a lot over the last several months of the things that I want to accomplish by the time I turn 30.
One of the biggest things that I wanted to have more of a handle on and have chosen to really focus on it during the final 6 month Journey to 30, is my emotional well-being. I want to come out on the other side of where I have been at over the last several months. I want to feel like I am making smart choices in my life that will contribute and add to my emotional health, NOT tear it down. I want to feel like I have begun to really surround myself with people that respect me, my thoughts, my dreams, my quirky personality, and my out of control tendencies.
For me, my emotional health is something that I have perhaps taken for granted a bit over the last several years. I thought for a long time, that I could ‘save’ everyone and take on their problems as my own to help absorb their hurt and pain. I thought that by me ‘helping’ everyone else, it would come back to help me and I would feel gratified. Well, I suppose after doing that for so long, you burn out and become a bit of an empty shell of yourself. And that my friends, is exactly how I feel lately. Don’t get me wrong, I do not regret the choices I have made in the past, because they have made me who I am, and even as bizarre as I am, I still love myself most days. And also, I am not choosing to not help people and encourage people, but I think I have needed to come to grips that I can’t ‘save’ anyone. They have to save and help themselves. And I can’t be saved either, I have to save and help myself.
I have always been fairly comfortable with who I am and don’t feel the need to make a lot of excuses for my quirkiness to be honest. Love me or hate me. Your choice. And lately, I have been embracing it even more than ever. I don’t want to apologize for the fact that I say ‘bless you’ to the person on the train that sneezes. I don’t want to apologize for the fact that I tear up at a commercial, greeting card, people that surprise me in various ways, because I miss home, because I miss my family and best pals in Seattle, but don’t want to go home yet. I don’t want to apologize for the fact that I love LOVE the cheesiest and probably THE worst songs ever, but I listen because they make me feel happy and want to have fun. Me embracing these things about myself are just little ways of me taking over my emotional well-being again and feeling even more prepared to rock the world, in my opinion.
I have noticed a lot about myself over the last several months. Not all good. Not all bad. But, that I am human. As much as I hate that sometimes, I am still only human. I make mistakes. I have done not great things. But I try. Everyday. To be better. A better friend. Coworker. Sister. Worker. Daughter. Student. More accepting. More forgiving. More accepting and forgiving of myself.
29 has certainly challenged me in a way that no other year has and as I have written, I don’t want to remember this year as crippling. I want to remember my last year of my 20’s as a year that was so, so challenging but I kicked its ass!
I got a text message this morning wishing me a Happy 3 Months until my 30th and saying that I have grown a lot over the last 3 months and I am fabulous! Well gosh, that makes my day! Thank you! I mean, I think I have grown and changed and overcome things over the last 3 months, but it sure is nice knowing that other people in my life have seen it too. I know it has been a long year for a lot of people in my life when it comes to me.
Life is short kiddos, but long. Seize the day. Live. Love. Don’t be afraid. Be brave. Have courage. Dream big. All of these wonderful cliches and a million more, will continue to help me along my Journey to 30! At the 3 month mark, I am feeling even more strong and happy than I was 3 months ago and I suspect that in another 3 months, I will be feeling even more so. So here’s to 30 and here’s to starting it off right and here’s to 29 and to ending it better than it started!
P.S. I kind of want to go to the Nutcracker on my birthday. Or the Celtics game. Hmm…I will have to ponder how to ring in the big 3-0. You better believe, that whether or not I am in Puerto Rico, at the Nutcracker or cheering on the Celts there is going to be champagne. A lot of it.
So, this is certainly a topic that I don’t typically address here for whatever reason. Oh, perhaps it is because I am not really doing much of it. It isn’t because I am not open to it necessarily, because I am – to a certain extent, but I also just don’t necessarily really feel ready for it. I mean some days I don’t even like myself and want to be around me (sounds much more dramatic than it really is), so I figured why should anyone else right now. I have kind of taken myself out of the whole dating game thing much to the chagrin of some people in my life here. Which is bizarre to me because I feel like if I am fine with things the way they are right now and I feel like it is important for me to take some time and work on me, then why is anyone else bothered by it?
BUT, let’s get something clear. Just because I am not really in the ‘game’, doesn’t mean that I don’t like to look and also think about what I like in the opposite sex. I mean I am a commuter and I go through Downtown everyday, there are droves of hot men in suits and ties and there is just something about that to me. I have recently rediscovered my love of educated people. I mean, I have always known that it is attractive to me when someone has an education and is well-rounded, but it has come so much to the forefront of my mind lately. Maybe it is because I have been working in a lab setting where everyone has their Ph.D and even just being in Boston, the education mecca that it is, I just feel like everyone is just so educated.
I love education myself and feel like I can always learn something new at any time. It keeps me on my toes. There isn’t a day that goes by that I am not reading something. Every.Single.Day.I have to read something. Even if it is just a page. Even if it is my brain candy trashy romance novel. So, that being said, if you can teach me something and you can read. And actually read. You are totally hot and sexy in my book! Let me give you my number and you can call me, maybe. 😉 And hey, if you are wicked smart, I just might considering coming out of retirement for you.
P.S. Extra points if you have a John Deere tractor. Ok, let’s get real here, I might just propose to you if you have a John Deere tractor.
Ok, I am officially Wordle obsessed! I have actually figured out how to navigate on the site picked up some useful tools. I am desperately trying to learn some new tools that might help me moving forward and am also looking for a very patient person to help teach me some web design. If you know anyone in the Boston area… 😉
Well, not that there is a ton to recap from this weekend to be perfectly honest, but I just feel like I need to say this for myself – I made it through my first week and weekend of grad school. Holy.Crap. This is going to be a bit tough. I can for sure do this, but it is going to be a lot of studying, a lot of life balancing, a lot of caffeine, and even more wine. As I said before, I need to be easy on myself, because I haven’t been in school seriously for a long time. There are going to be growing pains and struggles and tears and little sleep, but it is going to be so unbelievably worth it to me in the long run. This little quote today says it all really. Thank goodness Real Simple knows me so well and knows when I need a little extra boost.
For my one social moment of the weekend, I had some wine with a friend of mine who called out of the blue. We went to the Thirsty Scholar (you might know it from the Social Network movie) and it was so nice to just take a moment, breathe, and talk about life with someone my own age. Someone that has lived some life. Someone who has similar beliefs about things. I have come to appreciate those in my life that I am able to have a serious conversation with about different life topics. I have been feeling like they are a bit few and far between lately, so when I am able to sit down with someone over a drink, in a new bar, for like 3 and a half hours and just really talk, I just really appreciate, love and feel thankful for it. This is not to say that other conversations that I have are surface conversations exactly, but sometimes you just need a good serious heart to heart conversation with someone. Or maybe that is just me. 🙂 I think that it takes a lot for me to really open up to someone and feel like I am able to be myself and just say whatever is on my mind and have what I say respected and heard. It’s just interesting I think who actually is able to bring that to my life. I mean, I found myself responding to the question of whether or not I wanted kids, in perhaps the realest way I have EVER responded to that question. And it was refreshing to me, because this person brought out an answer that I am not sure I even knew existed until it just came pouring out. Anyway, that is kind of random all around, but it is just one example of what stuck out in that conversation for me this weekend.
In my old age (welp! ;)) I think I have begun to take stock of my life and the things that are truly important to me. The people that are truly important to me. I have said it so many times, but I love to beat a dead horse, but to me, it is the little things. I don’t always take a moment to stop and smell the roses, but I do feel like I am able to recognize the things that touch my life in some way. A home cooked meal by my roommate, a great conversation with someone you least expect, new friends that add so much to my life in ways that is embarrassing to even convey to them, old friends and phone dates to look forward to (nothing better than a fabulous old friend who gets you better than you get yourself), a good study session these days, a great song or quote that speaks to me.
Ok, wow, this certainly turned out to be way more reflective and just over the top than I originally set out for it to be. So much for a random weekend update. On that note, have a great week, I am going to do my best to!