2014.

Tags

Hope and Faith, Life, Love, Milestones, Reflection

It is hard to believe that it has not only been a million years since I last posted on this space of mine, but that it is January 7th. 2014! What?! It truly does feel like just yesterday that I was writing about the happenings of 2012 and my word of the year for 2013. Time really does fly when you are living life I suppose!

2013 brought a lot of wonderful things for me. And one of the biggest and best moments, while extremely personal, was alluded to here. I can’t even begin to share how much of a pivotal moment that was for me this past year. Part of me even wants to say it was THE moment of the year because I finally felt a sense of relief and weight lifting. My word trust proved to be the best choice to walk through the year with in my back pocket. Trust and its meaning to me, wasn’t something that I consciously had to revisit every single day. I did however, have the comfort of knowing that through the challenges and especially in the great moments, it was the underlying force that helped me to navigate through this last year. There is room for improvement, but I am pleased to report that overall, trust helped me to believe in myself a bit more again and trust in the process of life and take comfort in the fact that everything will be ok in the end. As one of my favorite quotes states, everything will be ok in the end, if it’s not ok, it’s not the end.

Let’s just take a brief look at 2013, in of course, list form :

I finally found the words, they might not have been pretty or delivered eloquently, but delivered nonetheless

I got a new job, one that I wasn’t even necessarily looking for, but one that is proving to be a good opportunity (once I finally transition out of my old job fully, which let’s be honest, maybe I am deluding myself into thinking that will actually happen)

I made a dent in furthering my education and all of the fun that came with that

I met some new people and one person in particular

I went fake camping and saw some of the most beautiful sunsets I have ever, ever seen, I also had the opportunity to discover the absolute beauty that is the beach next to a gorgeous lake in the morning with a cup of coffee listening to the water

I semi took up running on a more consistent basis and ran my first 5k in a really long time, with a theme, in a tutu of course

I had some great visitors come to see me in the form of my Bobsey twin and my middle sister and her boyfriend

I went to some Red Sox games, which included two games sitting in kick ass seats on the first base line and a Red Sox/Yankees game

I got to enjoy the Red Sox winning the World Series, parade and all

I had the first anniversary of my 30th birthday

I lived, I loved, I hoped, I wished, I cried, I laughed, I smiled, I pretended to wink, I flirted, I sang, I danced, I drank, I LIVED

2014. We have definitely started you and I am pleased to report, that not only am I continuing to work on embracing the word trust, but my overarching goal for 2014 focuses on positivity. Finding that within myself again. The last several months have been extremely challenging work wise and that has 150% spilled into my personal life. It has jaded me a bit and changed me. I had the same feelings of feeling like I was losing myself that I did a couple of years ago and that scared me so much. I never, NEVER want to go fully back to that place again and it is for that reason, that I need to refocus my efforts on being positive again. Having the best attitude that I can even when it seems like things cannot get any worse. Believing that the good is just right around the corner and there is a reason for it all. TRUSTING that I will make it out on the other side, singing, dancing, smiling, and laughing.

There are always going to be bad days and moments, but it is my hope that even throughout those times I will always be able to pause for a second and remember the good. Think of the little things that bring me joy and happiness everyday no matter what. The small, the big. There are so many different things that can come from positivity and I can’t wait to continue to discover what these things might be for me. Life is short and as much as I can, I want to have a light heart and a smile on my face.

So, bring it 2014, so ready to kick your ass and continue to live some serious life!

xoxo,

M

Currently…

Tags

Baseball, Fun, Life, Love, New England Sports, Really?

Reading up a storm.

Waiting for my replacement to start in my old job so I can finally, finally fully transition over to my new job. (More on this later, I know you are all DYING to know about it! ;))

Totally hooked on the show Blacklist. And, hooked, is slightly an understatement. Can.Not.Get.Enough.

Needing some new clothes.

Wishing I could navigate certain relationships in my life a bit better. People can be so confusing sometimes. Not sure it should be so hard, which might be the answer to be honest.

Nursing a sore body. Went to the gym for the first time in what feels like forever last night. Felt so good to be there that I might have overdone it a teeny tiny bit. Especially since I think I did something weird to my back last week. Whoops! Must be more careful in the future, or just try to get there more often. That might solve this issue as well.

Shamelessly listening to these songs. I spend an embarrassing amount of time wondering what song I would walk up to, so this seems like a fitting music choice today in anticipation for game 6 of the World Series! On that note…

Feeling ridiculously excited that the Red Sox have the chance to win the World Series tonight. Thrilled beyond belief that it could be here in Boston!

Willing to finally admit that I have become a full blown Red Sox fan, which I suppose means that I have become a baseball fan in general (never, never thought that would happen!). It has been a gradual acceptance over the last 4 ish years. Hard not to get swept up in it all, especially living here. The history, the lore, Fenway, oh Fenway, that deserves its own post I feel.

Pounding my 3rd cup of coffee this morning. Looks like it is going to be one of those days.

Obsessed with my new stress ball. Perhaps that is an indicator of how life has been lately?

Jealous of someone for a trip they are taking to Seattle this week. And at the same time, hating the fact that I have to be jealous of this particular person. #iammature

Pumped, like always, for the Timberfakes show this weekend! Love, love that one of my favorites kills it on the keys for them and I get to brag about him to everyone I know.

Shocked that November 1 is on Friday. Where does the time go?

Not really enjoying the fact that I have had to put on gloves the last couple of mornings! Getting chilly out there. Seems a touch early, but it is also supposed to be high 60’s on Friday. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised at all, this is New England weather we are talking about here.

Reflecting a lot these days. It is that time of the year for me I suppose, so this isn’t surprising.

Happy to be back and writing on this lovely little blog of mine!

xoxo,

M

 

 

 

 

 

Challenges

Tags

Hope and Faith, Life, Really?, Reflection

Well, we all know this, but life isn’t easy. There are many ups and downs, twists and turns, straights and curves, and challenges. Oh, challenges. There are a lot of those. Challenges test who you are, force you to dig deep within yourself to come out feeling like a winner on the other side, and they can be soul shaking (in a good or bad way!) in my opinion. Now that we have established, or perhaps re-established what challenges kind of are, let me get to the point of this post.

I felt a bit challenged yesterday. And today, today, I still don’t know what to do about it. I am not one for confrontation, in fact, I really avoid it at all costs. I have gotten better over the years about standing up for myself and taking care of myself the best that I can in that sense, but every once in awhile, there is a moment, or challenge that arises that involves someone else or multiple someones where I have to really look within myself to figure out what the best thing to do might be. This might be confronting someone. This might be taking a step back and reassessing things. This might be completely cutting off whatever the problem might be. Or, maybe ignoring things all together and hoping it just gets better with time…(oy, not so sure that this is an option here, but still, a nice thought!)

I think it can be hard when certain challenges with people make you question who you are and second guess the type of person you are and the type of personality you have. And this my friends, is where I am at today. I would like to believe in my heart of hearts that I am a good person. A decent person. A bit ton quirky, but someone who is nice and friendly and maybe a touch charming. I believe that everyone should be made to feel special at least once a day by someone out there and so I try to do that. Stranger or not. I would like to think that I am trustworthy and believable. I don’t tend to like confrontation, but I do feel like I wear my heart on my sleeve in a lot of ways. I have many downfalls as well, I am so stubborn, SO stubborn. Sometimes I can be passive aggressive. Other times way too direct. I can definitely be hot-headed and can be defensive. But, I am human. Take me or leave me kiddos.

It is hard to find yourself in a situation where you feel like you are having to explain yourself or defend your actions. Listen, it is my life. I don’t owe people any explanation for how I am choosing to live that life. Which you can assume, I am not doing anything illegal or dangerous or detrimental to anyone. I am just a 30 year old woman who is trying to find her place in this life, just like everyone else. The people in my life are there for a reason, because I want them to be. Because they all bring something special out in me and bring something wonderful to my life to be thankful for. This is not something that I should need to constantly reiterate to someone. And frankly, who is anyone to question who I talk to, who I spend time with, who I do things with and when?

Something else I wonder is this, is nothing sacred anymore? Are conversations between two people not kept between those two people? Maybe I am just super old school, but if you tell me something, it stays with me. Believe me or not, but it is the truth. If you are coming to me in confidence and frankly, even if you aren’t, what you say doesn’t go further. It isn’t my business to tell the world your business and I hope vice versa. I mean I get it, maybe you want to brag to people that you are talking to me, I mean who doesn’t want to brag about that? It’s kind of a big deal, ha! 😉 BUT, come on.

Whomp whomp could this post be anymore stupid, heavy-hearted, weirdly loaded?! Sigh. Shifting gears…

It is the first day of summer! It is absolutely gorgeous in Beantown and temps are looking to be in the low 80’s all weekend. Holler! Too bad I will be stuck doing school work for a big portion of it. Hoping to at least do some reading outside. Hope it is fabulous weather to welcome summer in wherever you all are!

Thanks for listening to my random ramblings and my pity moment. I am fine and absolutely will be fine. Once I knock some people around! 😉

Love to you all, new and old, real life friends or just lovely followers of my life on this blog!

xoxo,

M

 

Turning a Terrible Tuesday into a Terrific Tuesday

Tags

Fun, Life, Music Makes Everything Better, New England Sports, Really?, Weekend Fun

So. I guess I needed a bit of a break from the blogging world after my last actual post. I think I just needed to take a moment for myself and just really try and process and absorb everything that happened here and also just in my own life. On that note…

School is seriously kicking my ass right now. I finished with one crazy class only to start right back up two days later in an even crazier class. It’s tough because no one said this was going to be easy and I most certainly didn’t think I would be skating my way through this degree, but I will admit, that I was hoping my latest class would be a bit less strenuous than my last one. Eh. Such is life I suppose and I just need to keep on keepin’ on. It’s all going to be worth it in the end.

Following up that thought with a mixed bag of tricks list on this semi-terrible Tuesday, hopefully that will help me get out of my weird funk. I don’t want to be best buds Alexander…

I came into work today to a nice box of chocolates from someone who is leaving to pursue bigger things

Tomorrow is HH and we all know how I love Wednesdays just for that (and I get a new book to read tomorrow!)

I am listening to the Songza playlist – Low Rise Jeans and Baby Tees – seems reasonable for work (as is most of my music I suppose! ;))

I had Raisin Bran for breakfast this morning (I seriously LOVE Raisin Bran)

Hosted a BBQ at Frost Acres on Sunday and was able to get rid of the two pre-made sangria bottles that someone brought to the sangria party last summer (I am sorry, but thank GOD they are gone!)

Sangria party date is set, come to Cambridge on August 10th armed with your best sangria and you could win a prize!

Created a nice wine list for our water delivery guy (random I know, but Brian is pretty fabulous)

Enjoying the current weather (sunny, slightly cool, but has the potential to warm up)

Loving the fact that I look kind of a hiatus from the gym, went yesterday and didn’t really miss a step

Feeling slightly like a Cougar these days (can a 30 year old be a Cougar? what is the exact definition of a Cougar anyway??)

This is just funny : I totally cut my leg today shaving – what am I? A rookie?

Loving that the Bruins killed the Penguins last night

And…how can we not end of this fabulous Daily thought?!

xoxo,

M

Random Boys

Tags

Dating, Fun, Life, Really?

Ok, recently I feel like my life has taken an odd turn. I am not quite sure what to make of it.

This topic tends to be off limits for the most part here. Not for any reason really other then the fact that I have been on an extended hiatus, much to most people’s chagrin around here. Dating. I am not a huge dater. Never have been. I don’t really know how to do it, if people are actually interested in me, if I am actually interested in them, or what.

Since I have moved here I have found myself with more then my typical average number of guy friends in my life. And in my opinion, that is what they are. Just friends. I am so good with that. Several of these guys are great to chat sports with and all of those who know me, know I love me some sports. I can handle sports talk with the best of them and it is always great to find anyone that I am able to banter back and forth with about it.

Well, the last several months there have been several instances with some of these ‘friends’ that have caused some people to wonder. And, if I am being perfectly honest, it has given me cause of pause as well. (This goes hand in hand with the whole, I have no idea how to tell if anyone is actually interested or not thing). This has given me enough pause and people have made enough comments to me about things, for me to say this : why can’t we go back to the days of note writing? You know, the whole, I like you, check yes or no if you like me business? It just seems so much easier. Especially with those that you felt like were just your beer slinging sports talking buddies.

This post is so random and just all over of the place, all to tell you that I am pretty sure someone did just kind of do the whole check yes or no, direct-ish business and asked me out to lunch. He’s in the Economics dept. I mean maybe he is being friendly, I could always use another friend. He is though, a couple of notches above the person who gave me their apartment address yesterday in lieu of a phone number (because he didn’t have a phone) and told me to stop by anytime. Wait, umm sir, I am sorry, I am sitting with another male right trying to have a nice enjoyable beer experience and you are going to hand out your address? AND, no, no I do not want to just STOP by your apartment. We have barely exchanged 5 words worth of conversation. At least buy me a beer! 😉 KIDDING.

I am sorry if this post makes me seem shallow. I just really needed to type/vent this out for a second. I think I just need to stop talking to people all together. Although, I definitely have some crazy stories, especially as of late, that keep me and others in my life rather entertained, so maybe I should just continue on as normal. Classic M stories to add to my book of life. Sigh.

xoxo,

M

Song Favorites

Tags

Fun, Life, Music Makes Everything Better, Really?

There is a lot of talk of music on this blog. What I am currently listening to, what songs I am currently rapping at my desk to, Pandora stations, Songza mixes, etc. Today, I felt like I wanted to do a little list of my favorite songs. You know, those songs that just get you pumped up every time you hear them…so, I am bringing it today, some of my most favorites. Judge away kiddos. 🙂 Believe me, these are certainly not to impress you and this is just a small list of my favorites.

One of my go-to songs for getting pumped up and getting ready to go out…

 

I can’t help it…

 

I mean as a tractor lovin’ girl…how can I not love this one? Also, if you know of anyone that needs to get rid of a John Deere, I may or may not be your girl…

 

One of my favorite songs to blast in the car…

 

Top 5 Jukebox song for me…

 

And this…I just can’t help it

Have a great Tuesday!

xoxo,

M

Reading Is Sexy

Tags

Fun, Life, Public Transportation, Reading, Really?

Oh my goodness. If this post doesn’t speak to me right about now. Reading is totally sexy. And if the moment I had yesterday on the train with a tall, dark and handsome stranger yesterday about the Tipping Point didn’t reinforce that to me, this Thought Catalog post sure did!

Thought Catalog

You’ve all had that moment. You’re on the train, coming home from a long, frustrating day at work or that night class you regret taking. You’re slumped over your seat listening to Alt-J or the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs single. You look around you at the faint squalor of the train; the lights on this car seem set to perpetual gray dusk, a metaphor for your mood you don’t appreciate. But then you look across from you and you see him sweating as he tears through a Saul Bellow novel you’ve always sworn to read or Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn.

Gone Girl, you wonder? Who is this man? Who gave him that? Is that a gift from a wife or girlfriend? Is he in a book club? Holy shit, that’s so hot.

You then begin to fantasize about this stranger on the train, what genres he’s into and…

View original post 1,003 more words

Laundry List

Tags

Fun, Life, Really?, Reflection

Well, you know me and lists…

Today I am…

Wishing it was warmer, at least it is sunny and it is a shades kinda day, also maybe a shady kinda day since I may or may not be rocking a bit of a hangover

Listening to Juvenile Back That Azz Up which just rolled into Who Am I (What’s My Name?) by the Doggfather himself, Snoop Dogg (WHAT?! why did I just write that?! Too good to delete – did I mention I was hungover?)

Recalling the fact that vodka in a wine glass happened

Thinking that vodka in a wine glass is not a great idea, or maybe it is the BEST idea, check in with me about this tomorrow

Loving the fact it is Thursday

Reading The Tipping Point (which is on my textbook list for my next class!), Gone Girl, and Friday Night Lights (all over the map with my reading as per usual)

Gearing up for class to start again next Monday

Looking forward to the Timberfakes

Needing a haircut, bad, so bad

Trying to get myself healthy in more ways then one (admittedly, I took a break yesterday, clearly, whoops!)

Wishing I could successfully throw out a wink instead of looking like a crazy person with a weird eye twitch

Laughing at the fact that weird stuff is always Googled at happy hour (example : do potatoes help prevent scurvy?)

Loving so much that I just walked outside and encountered a mini carnival of sorts in the quad and was given popcorn

Missing home a bit

Excited to make some more roasted brussel sprouts later

Looking forward to my designated talk about me time of the week

How is everyone else today???

xoxo,

M

Friday Friday Fun

Tags

Fun, Hope and Faith, Life, Love, Milestones, Music Makes Everything Better, Weather

Heeeey! Happy Friday kiddos!

So this happened again…and I suppose is currently STILL happening…

No worries though, I am just going to continue to think about the fact that Spring is on its way in. Daylight savings time is this weekend, so can’t complain about getting an extra hour of light in the evenings starting next week. Because, I can’t control the weather as much as I would like to, that means – why bother bitching about it?! Embrace it. It is kind of pretty anyway. For the moment.

Today, I am rocking out, which is a funny expression, since technically, I am rapping out to some of my favorite rap songs. Again, I can’t tell you how appropriate my music selections are for the work place, but since I am pretty much the only one in the office right now, I am werkin’ it and I don’t care. My music choices are pretty much all over the map. I listen to and love pretty much all kinds of music and bottom line, I like different types of music for different moods, different days, different outfits, whatever. So, today, it is a rap day. And you best believe that this girl is rapping at her desk and keepin’ it real on this fine snowy Friday.

Yesterday was a big day in my little world for a variety of reasons. It was also a hard day, but in a great way. In a healing way. Don’t want to bore you with all of that, but did want to make mention of it here because it is a bit of a proud moment for me, one that was a long time in coming and needed to happen. I finally found the words and it felt good. And I feel some relief. I am hoping that this is just the beginning.

I don’t have a lot going on this weekend and I think that sounds perfect to me. We have a visitor coming to learn how to bake this weekend at Frostacres and I can’t think of a better teacher than my fabulous and kitchen savvy roommate. That might be the most action I see all weekend. Feels like a great weekend to do some crafting, some personal crap, and also some reading. Ready to finish up Wuthering Heights and move on to the next book on the list!

Have a great weekend, stay safe, warm, and try not to do anything I wouldn’t do! 😉 Who knows exactly what that means since these days I have been acting like I am 21 again and not 30 and you best believe in the moment it is fun, until I wake up the next morning and remember, ahh yes, I am in fact 30. Can’t cause the same amount of trouble I used or certainly not on a daily basis! But hey, nothing wrong with enjoying life, thanks to Drake we all know – YOLO!

xoxo,

M

Thoughtful Thursday

Tags

Hope and Faith, Life, Love, Quotes, Reflection

Again, Real Simple and their fabulous Daily Thoughts just really made me feel good on my commute this morning. I am thankful it is Thursday today. It feels like I need it today and this thought in my inbox made me realize that this morning. Just a reminder that I am a work in progress, but that I am making progress. And that, I feel, is something.

xoxo,

M